THREE USEFUL TIPS ON HOW TO GET CLOSER TO YOUR PARTNER

You can stop feeling sorry for your friends in long-distance
relationships: turns out, long-distance couples tend to have stronger
relationships, according to a new study published in the Journal of
Communication.
For the study, researchers from the City University of Hong Kong and Cornell University had...
63 couples (30 of which were long-distance)
keep track of every single interaction they had during the course of a
week. Researchers also asked them how close they felt to their partner
after each of these interactions. Sure enough, the long-distance
couples reported higher levels of intimacy.
While it might be counterintuitive, this doesn't come as a total
shock: Previous research published in 2010 shows that long-distance
couples tend to report more relationship satisfaction, higher levels
of trust, and more stability than their non-long-distance
counterparts.
So why does absence really seem to make the heart grow fonder? There
are likely two things at work, say study authors: First, people in
long-distance relationships appear to be better communicators,
according to the interactions they recorded. Another factor might be
that couples separated by distance in the study were more likely to
idealize each other; they viewed their partners as being even more
communicative than they actually were – which helped keep positive
feelings about them flowing.
That's not to say that you have to live several states away from your
partner to have a solid relationship. Just follow these tips from
study author Crystal Jiang, PhD, an assistant professor in the
department of media and communication at the City University of Hong
Kong, to steal the same strategies that people in long-distance
relationships tend to use:

1. Tell Your Partner How You Feel
Sure, long-distance couples tend to express their affection and
commitment more often – and it doesn't hurt to say that you love each
other on a regular basis (even if it goes without saying). But that's
not the only feeling you should be talking about with your S.O. In the
study, long-distance couples did more of something researchers call
"self-disclosure," which basically means opening up about what you've
been thinking, feeling, and doing lately. So the next time you're
debating whether to tell your partner about the annoying thing that
happened at work recently, start talking. "Self-disclosure is one of
the ways people communicate intimacy and caring," says Jiang.

2. Listen Up
Whereas you might show your partner some love by picking up dinner
for them or offering to go to Ikea with them to make the trip a little
more fun, long-distance couples usually don't have that option. What
they can offer: their attention. "People in long-distance
relationships are often valued for their ability to provide special
insight, empathy, or understanding," says Jiang. Follow their lead by
really listening to what your partner says to you – even when you're
in one of those just-smile-and-nodmoods. What exactly you say in
response to your partner isn't nearly as important as clearly
addressing what they've just said in a supportive way. "Efforts are
really the key thing here," says Jiang.

3. Cut Your Partner Some Slack
As we mentioned earlier, one of the big reasons researchers say
long-distance relationships are stronger is that people tend to
idealize their S.O. when they don't have to see them throwing their
dirty socks on the floor or playing video games every day. Totally
losing touch with reality obviously isn't a good thing, but keeping
mental tabs on the good things about your partner – and even building
them up a little bit –is going to be way better for your bond than
fuming (silently or otherwise) about his Xbox addiction. "Moderate
idealization can help couples stay positive about their partner's
traits," says Jiang. So focus on how sweet it was when he refused to
let you do the dishes the other night – and maybe look the other way
the next time he forgets that hampers exist.