"With all our hearts, we pray and ask, God bless Anambra, God bless the shining light..."
My Samsung Galaxy S6 ring tone invokes a feeling of pride in me as a true onye Anambra and I so much love it. It was my mum calling and the time was 11am on a Sunday morning. I reluctantly pulled out of my blanket and picked up.
"Mummy Good morning Ma. Kedu ka imere?"
"Somto, why is your voice like this? Have you gone to church? Did you go to club again last Saturday? Chai...nwam...nekwa gi oooo." She made it sound like I was already heading for doom.
"Oooooom mummmmmmmy. I didn't go to club last night, I escorted Henry and I ended up waiting for him to finish clubbing so we could go home. I was in his car all through."
"Bia nwoke, you know I don't believe you. Just make sure you cook and go to church in the evening or else..." She hung up. She always has a way of making me feel like the whole world is collapsing at the weight of my sins. It could do that though.
After my chores and cleaning up, I was bored at home so I called my taxi friend who drives one of these latest Anambra taxis to drop me at Trig Point Hotels. My mum's warning ringed in my ears but I was dedicated to committing sins that weekend and I had only this Sunday to see ladies in swimming trunks and guys hustling to 'fool' themselves in training them.
After 30 minutes, he was in front of my lodge and we zoomed off towards Government lodge Amawbia.
I became an expert swimmer in 2013 so I explored any little opportunity I had to show off. Trig Point Hotels swimming pool offered the best alternative because the bar was high above the pool and everyone can easily see you. Amongst other things, I was hoping to find a new sin mate at the pool.
Coming out from the changing room, I sighted a beautiful blonde lady who was enjoying a bottle of Orijin and sitting alone up at the bar. I waved at her with a smile and she returned the gesture, my brain was already calculating. I jumped into the pool and for ten seconds, I was deep down and came up with a resounding splash of water. I turned to breaststroke style and smiled away while displaying my skills. When I gazed back at her, she was enjoying the show and smiling. I'm making progress.
I don't have 6 packs but at least, I have 3 packs and a shoulder any lady would die for. I'm serious. So after swimming for about 15 minutes, I pulled out my towel and tying it round my waist, I went up to the bar to have a full view of the blonde lady and have a bottle of Coke or Fanta.
"Hi pretty lady. You are too beautiful to be left alone in a place like this. Awh pardon my manners, I'm Martin; Martin Beck Nworah." She wore a red mini gown and "designed" her face pretty well.
"I'm Prettle."
"Pre wetin biko? Sorry. You mean your name is Prettle like Kettle?" We laughed it off and I summoned the courage to buy a Smirn Off ice I will not drink. In my heart, I wanted my fanta or coke jooor.
"So Prettle, you come here often or waiting for someone?"
She crossed her legs to expose a little of her laps and I licked my tongue. This sin will be a very matured one.
"Not really. I actually came to see a friend who works here but she's busy inside. So I'm waiting for her to come out."
"Oh nice. I do come here to swim often. But today is very special because it was blessed with your adoring smile and aesthetically painted face." Chai Beck ana etikasi osuba funneeeee...pichikolom
"Alright. Nice meeting you Beck."
"Errm. I would want us to hang out some time Prettle. I would love to know more about your name in divergent ways and see how we can explore. Whether in the open or close or open or close." We both laughed off and I knew she caught the joke. So I fired further to avoid missing an opportunity.
"I actually lodged here for today, can you accompany me to my room so I can get my phone and get your contact Prettle."
Beck you can lieeee.
She reached across the table, gently strolled my left hand and smiled.
"My right leg pains me. But 20k or 30k can help in healing it."
I looked at my bottle of smirn off and in a typical Igbo man style, I decided to bargain. I just can't let go of this opportunity.
"Errrm Prettle. Let's errrmmm do it this way. Errrrmmm. What if I gave you a free ticket to #ZikitesUSNConnect that will be held at Fayrouz Spot Ifite on the 12th of December by 6:00pm. Just send your name and phone number as a message to this link https://m.facebook.com/
"Hmmmmm...I think that's fair enough. What if I want to come with my girlfriends?"
When I heard girlfriends, I thought about enjoying an evening with plenty beautiful babes and I couldn't say no. "Let them send their name and phone number as a message to the link above. We shall invite them but they will settle their ticket fee oooo. Only yours is free if we commit this sin now. Remember to wear a touch of white to the event."
"Ok Beck, that's fair. Can we go to your room and get your device now? Or maybe before then, lemme plant a soft kiss on your lips so you will have a feel of what to enjoy when we go up".
I hurriedly and happily positioned my lips in a duck-like way to receive the hot kiss. I was already doing mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm when a heavy knock on my head woke me up.
"Bia nwokem wake up. See how you are disgracing yourself here sleeping and kissing the air. Wake up joor."
"Chai...John. E no go better for you. What nonsense is this naw? I was about to enter the room with my new chick and you just woke me up. Send me back to sleep oooooo."
John is the P.A to a popular politician who I went to submit a report on his media popularity which I audited. I have been working with them for some months now and the man has come to accept me as a son, so I had free access to many things including his beautiful 25 years old daughter.
As I told John to send me back to sleep, he gave me a heavy slap on my right cheek and for a second, everything was white.
"Oooooo guy, wetin be dis naw? Why you slap me?"
"You wanted to go back to your dream love so I'm sending you back to sleep. You need more?"
"Abeg free me biko. Anumanu" I hissed away. "Has Chief finished his meeting inside?"
John nodded in affirmation. "He wants to see you now. Hope you added my share in the new media budget you wrote as usual? If not, I will tell Chief about you and Gene."
"Hahahaha...oga na threat? Don't worry, I packaged everything. Na our ministry be this naw. Point and kill at Geogold this evening at our usual time."
He smiled and led me in to meet Chief and conclude on our new media contract.
©Martin Beck Nworah (MBN)
******************************
Martin Beck Nworah has been nominated in the category of the Fast Rising Igbo Made Literary Icon and he needs your votes to win.
To vote for Martin Beck Nworah (MBN), visit http://www.igbomadeawards.com/
Thank you.
My Samsung Galaxy S6 ring tone invokes a feeling of pride in me as a true onye Anambra and I so much love it. It was my mum calling and the time was 11am on a Sunday morning. I reluctantly pulled out of my blanket and picked up.
"Mummy Good morning Ma. Kedu ka imere?"
"Somto, why is your voice like this? Have you gone to church? Did you go to club again last Saturday? Chai...nwam...nekwa gi oooo." She made it sound like I was already heading for doom.
"Oooooom mummmmmmmy. I didn't go to club last night, I escorted Henry and I ended up waiting for him to finish clubbing so we could go home. I was in his car all through."
"Bia nwoke, you know I don't believe you. Just make sure you cook and go to church in the evening or else..." She hung up. She always has a way of making me feel like the whole world is collapsing at the weight of my sins. It could do that though.
After my chores and cleaning up, I was bored at home so I called my taxi friend who drives one of these latest Anambra taxis to drop me at Trig Point Hotels. My mum's warning ringed in my ears but I was dedicated to committing sins that weekend and I had only this Sunday to see ladies in swimming trunks and guys hustling to 'fool' themselves in training them.
After 30 minutes, he was in front of my lodge and we zoomed off towards Government lodge Amawbia.
I became an expert swimmer in 2013 so I explored any little opportunity I had to show off. Trig Point Hotels swimming pool offered the best alternative because the bar was high above the pool and everyone can easily see you. Amongst other things, I was hoping to find a new sin mate at the pool.
Coming out from the changing room, I sighted a beautiful blonde lady who was enjoying a bottle of Orijin and sitting alone up at the bar. I waved at her with a smile and she returned the gesture, my brain was already calculating. I jumped into the pool and for ten seconds, I was deep down and came up with a resounding splash of water. I turned to breaststroke style and smiled away while displaying my skills. When I gazed back at her, she was enjoying the show and smiling. I'm making progress.
I don't have 6 packs but at least, I have 3 packs and a shoulder any lady would die for. I'm serious. So after swimming for about 15 minutes, I pulled out my towel and tying it round my waist, I went up to the bar to have a full view of the blonde lady and have a bottle of Coke or Fanta.
"Hi pretty lady. You are too beautiful to be left alone in a place like this. Awh pardon my manners, I'm Martin; Martin Beck Nworah." She wore a red mini gown and "designed" her face pretty well.
"I'm Prettle."
"Pre wetin biko? Sorry. You mean your name is Prettle like Kettle?" We laughed it off and I summoned the courage to buy a Smirn Off ice I will not drink. In my heart, I wanted my fanta or coke jooor.
"So Prettle, you come here often or waiting for someone?"
She crossed her legs to expose a little of her laps and I licked my tongue. This sin will be a very matured one.
"Not really. I actually came to see a friend who works here but she's busy inside. So I'm waiting for her to come out."
"Oh nice. I do come here to swim often. But today is very special because it was blessed with your adoring smile and aesthetically painted face." Chai Beck ana etikasi osuba funneeeee...pichikolom
"Alright. Nice meeting you Beck."
"Errm. I would want us to hang out some time Prettle. I would love to know more about your name in divergent ways and see how we can explore. Whether in the open or close or open or close." We both laughed off and I knew she caught the joke. So I fired further to avoid missing an opportunity.
"I actually lodged here for today, can you accompany me to my room so I can get my phone and get your contact Prettle."
Beck you can lieeee.
She reached across the table, gently strolled my left hand and smiled.
"My right leg pains me. But 20k or 30k can help in healing it."
I looked at my bottle of smirn off and in a typical Igbo man style, I decided to bargain. I just can't let go of this opportunity.
"Errrm Prettle. Let's errrmmm do it this way. Errrrmmm. What if I gave you a free ticket to #ZikitesUSNConnect that will be held at Fayrouz Spot Ifite on the 12th of December by 6:00pm. Just send your name and phone number as a message to this link https://m.facebook.com/
"Hmmmmm...I think that's fair enough. What if I want to come with my girlfriends?"
When I heard girlfriends, I thought about enjoying an evening with plenty beautiful babes and I couldn't say no. "Let them send their name and phone number as a message to the link above. We shall invite them but they will settle their ticket fee oooo. Only yours is free if we commit this sin now. Remember to wear a touch of white to the event."
"Ok Beck, that's fair. Can we go to your room and get your device now? Or maybe before then, lemme plant a soft kiss on your lips so you will have a feel of what to enjoy when we go up".
I hurriedly and happily positioned my lips in a duck-like way to receive the hot kiss. I was already doing mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm when a heavy knock on my head woke me up.
"Bia nwokem wake up. See how you are disgracing yourself here sleeping and kissing the air. Wake up joor."
"Chai...John. E no go better for you. What nonsense is this naw? I was about to enter the room with my new chick and you just woke me up. Send me back to sleep oooooo."
John is the P.A to a popular politician who I went to submit a report on his media popularity which I audited. I have been working with them for some months now and the man has come to accept me as a son, so I had free access to many things including his beautiful 25 years old daughter.
As I told John to send me back to sleep, he gave me a heavy slap on my right cheek and for a second, everything was white.
"Oooooo guy, wetin be dis naw? Why you slap me?"
"You wanted to go back to your dream love so I'm sending you back to sleep. You need more?"
"Abeg free me biko. Anumanu" I hissed away. "Has Chief finished his meeting inside?"
John nodded in affirmation. "He wants to see you now. Hope you added my share in the new media budget you wrote as usual? If not, I will tell Chief about you and Gene."
"Hahahaha...oga na threat? Don't worry, I packaged everything. Na our ministry be this naw. Point and kill at Geogold this evening at our usual time."
He smiled and led me in to meet Chief and conclude on our new media contract.
©Martin Beck Nworah (MBN)
******************************
Martin Beck Nworah has been nominated in the category of the Fast Rising Igbo Made Literary Icon and he needs your votes to win.
To vote for Martin Beck Nworah (MBN), visit http://www.igbomadeawards.com/
Thank you.
LOL! I totally loved this.
ReplyDeletehahahahaahha...nice one. I sent my details for the event and voted for MBN!
ReplyDeleteAlways love ur write ups... Beck, pls inform us of d ticket price so I can knw Hw many ladies to invite
ReplyDelete1k. You will be notified on how to pick up your ticket later and discounts for your friends.
DeleteNice write up. Whts d price for the ticket? Am anxious to invite more Dan one lady
ReplyDelete1,000
Delete