"You can not marry Austin. I don't even want to discuss this issue ever again in this house. I am your mother and what I say stands. My decision is final. You can not marry him!"
My mother's outburst made me step back. She said it with so much energy and vehemence, I thought she was going to slap me. I had prepared for this. I just didn't think she'll still be this adamant!
2weeks ago when I brought up this topic, my mother had looked at me like I was crazy. I thought it was just the shock so I decided to give her a few weeks to think about it but there was no time anymore. I have already decided to marry Austin. With or without my mother's blessing but I'd rather do it with her blessing. It would just be better if she stops being stubborn and accept it. This time, I'm ready for her.
"Mama calm down. I'm the one who's going to spend the rest of my life with him not you. You can't decide for me" I said.
My mother was quiet for a while then she walked up to me and put her hands on my shoulder.
"Rita please. Listen to me I beg you. You're my daughter. Anything that affects you, affects me. This is not the life I want for you" she said gently. I smiled. At least she was calm now. She wasn't shouting anymore. I was slowly winning her over.
"But mama, you like Austin. You've always liked him. He has been coming here for the past 3 years since we started dating. You used to love him. In fact during papa's burial he helped in all aspects and I recall you once said you wish he was your own son!"
I said to my mother. She sighed.
"I still like him...like a son. Like the son I never had. My decision is not based on his personality because I will be the first to say he's a fine young man with a good heart. But ever since you told me about the result of that test you both took, I just knew it wasn't meant to be" she said sadly.
I understood her point of view. Austin and I went for tests and the result wasn't too good. We have the same genotype which wouldn't have been a problem if not for the fact that we're both AS.
Initially, Austin had joked about it. "The universe is funny. We're so alike. We have the same genotype too" he had laughed. But after some time we had thought about it and discussed how serious the issue really is. We had come to the conclusion that we'll get married anyway. Our love was strong enough to weather the storm. We couldn't imagine life without each other. I just need a way to convince my mother who was now sitting in front of me, staring at me with a dark look in her eyes and a scowl on her face.
"It's already too late mama. I'm pregnant for him" I said trying not to meet her eyes.
"What? Are you stupid? Have you lost your mind?" She said. I knew she would be disappointed when I told her.
"No mama. I've not lost my mind. I'm in love".
My mother looked at me long and hard ''You're making a huge mistake Rita. It's your life and since you've decided to throw it away and follow your heart, leaving your brain behind, you can go ahead and marry Austin'' with that she stood up, shook her head and left the room.
"How did it go with your mother?" Austin asked me later that day when I went over to visit him.
"Terribly. I'm so tired but the good news is that she reluctantly agreed after I told her about the pregnancy." I said. I could feel Austin's excitement when I told him.
"Finally!" He screamed. "I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you" he added as he kissed me. "Me too" I replied and in that moment, I knew I had made the right decision.
Three weeks to the wedding, my mother invited me to her house. When I got there, I was surprised to see our Pastor in the sitting room with her.
After the usual pleasantries were exchanged, my mother turned to me.
"I invited the man of God over because I think he'll be able to talk better sense into you. If you won't listen to me, at least listen to the voice of God" she said.
I nearly laughed. This same issue again?
"My daughter, your mother is worried about you with good reasons too. Do you know the implications of what you're about to do?" He asked.
I nodded
"I don't think you do child" he continued "Getting married to Austin with your blood group means you'll have children with the sickle cell disease" he said
"There's one out of four chances that I'll have a child with the sickle cell disease. Just one in four chances" I corrected him.
"Ok. One in four. Are you willing to take the risk? Think about the life of that innocent child you're going to bring into this world to suffer." He said.
"With all due respect sir, my mind is made up. I'm pregnant for him already. You're a man of God, are you suggesting I abort this baby? You of all people should know about miracles. I believe in the power of the Almighty God and I believe in the love I and Austin share. Who knows, I might have healthy kids without the sickle cell anemia. There's nothing God cannot do" I said.
My mother looked like she was about to keel over and die of a heart attack.
What is the matter with her anyway? She of all people should understand how much I love Austin. Even if my dead father wakes up from the dead to change my mind, I'll still marry Austin.
After the pastor and my mother tried everything to discourage me without much success, they let me be.
My mother got over her disapproval and helped me with the wedding plans.
The pastor had no choice but to wed us and Austin was happier than I had ever seen him, his love for me so pure that all I had to do was look into his eyes to see it.
The wedding was awesome. It was a small wedding which made it intimate and really beautiful. I didn't really care about any of all that; the guests, decorations, cake or the way everything looked colourful. All I wanted was to start a life with Austin.
Everyone commented on how good we looked together and when the pastor said "You may now kiss the bride", our lips found each other like magnets across a small space.
We were so young and so in love and the future was full of endless possibilities.
The honeymoon was a short one because Austin had to get back to work but it was magical. Every moment spent with Austin was beautiful.
Days rolled into weeks and weeks rolled into months. Eight months into our marriage, I gave birth to a beautiful girl.
Austin was the happiest man on earth. He loved our daughter like she was responsible for the oxygen keeping him alive. He dotted on me like I just gave him the world. We named her Sarah.
We took vacations whenever he was on leave.
My mother visited often and everything was perfect.
It was my dream, a husband who loves me and a daughter I adore. A happy family.
My life was almost perfect until Sarah started falling sick.
It was the one thing we dreaded but thank God we were prepared for this. I just didn't imagine my first child would have the sickle cell disease but it happened.
Austin and I became closer if that was even possible considering how close we already are.
We took care of Sarah. United by a love which was strong and a zeal to take care of Sarah who's SS and needed all the care in the world.
Austin and I kept trying to have another child but the pregnancy wasn't coming and when Sarah was about 3years old, her crisis became frequent.
Her crisis was draining her and she was looking sick. It was draining me too but the person who felt it the most was Austin.
He hated to see his little girl suffer and he tried everything within his power to make sure she was okay.
One afternoon my mother visited.
I wasn't expecting her and Sarah was really sick
"Are you okay?" My mother asked when she saw how exhausted I looked.
"You bet" I said with a smile that didn't fool her.
She said nothing. She loved Sarah too.
My mother has a good heart. She'd never tell me "I told you so" and for that I was grateful because even Sarah's ill health didn't make me regret my marriage to Austin. I loved him that much.
Sarah's condition was making us spend more and more time in the hospital and this made Austin stay away from the office much and soon, he lost his job. The work was tasking. One that needed him around always and his boss wasn't happy with his absences anymore and sacked him.
That was the beginning of our problems because Sarah's condition needed money for drugs and treatments. With Austin out of a job, it became harder to handle. There was no money in the house. Things got very tight.
I was a full time housewife and couldn't help.
Austin promised to get another job and asked me not to worry but after some months and nothing was coming along, he became depressed.
Soon he started drinking and staying out late.
I understood his predicament but I wasn't happy with it.
We started having misunderstandings. The sicker Sarah got, the more problems we had, the deeper Austin went into the bottle and slowly he began to change.
We had lots of fights and one day he accused me of giving him a sick child and ruining his life. Even though he was drunk, the words went straight to my heart.
I felt so bad.
My mother came over the next day and couldn't believe it when she saw me crying in the room.
"What's the matter with you?" She asked. I didn't know what to say.
Heartbroken and going out of my mind?
Exhausted and weak?
Tired and battered?
I didn't know what to say to her so I said nothing. She simply rolled her eyes and went into Sarah's room.
That night she was there when Austin came back drunk as usual and she witnessed when Austin tried to hit me.
She tried to stop him and push him away so he hit her too.
My mother was furious and started shouting at me and telling me about how she warned me not to marry him.
"Get out of my house mama and I don't ever want to see you again" I said. I didn't know where that came from, anger maybe but she was so shocked, she simply picked up her purse and left.
The next day I was doing Austin's laundry and saw condoms in his pant pocket. I felt so betrayed and weak.
At least he's using protection?
Hell no! My heart was broken.
I was tired and I didn't know what to do anymore.
Austin used to be the perfect husband. The frustration of running from hospital to hospital and spending everything on drugs turned him into this stranger.
That day he came back late and I confronted him about the condoms.
"Austin are you seeing another woman?" I asked.
"Yup" he replied casually and continued fiddling with his tie.
"Why?" I asked trying not to cry.
"Let's just say I'm thinking of marrying another wife" he replied looking straight into my eyes.
I couldn't believe it.
"But..." I couldn't get the words past the lump in my throat.
"You've brought me nothing but bad luck. You and your sick child" he said.
"But you love Sarah. You've always adored her" I said in a tiny whisper.
"I stopped. She'll soon die anyway. What's the point and you've refused to give me other children." He said
"I'm not God that gives children and you're not God to say she'll die" I shouted.
He simply walked away.
I sat down there crying.
"We are in this together! We're supposed to be in this together!" I screamed startling Sarah who was already sleeping because she started crying.
As I went into her room to check on her, I made a mental note to call my mother and apologise.
The next day, Sarah woke up in the middle of the night crying and vomiting and there were traces of blood in her vomit.
Austin wasn't at home. He slept out of the house like he had been doing for weeks now so I had to take Sarah to the hospital myself.
The doctors took over at once.
I was sitting at the reception about 45minutes later when the doctor came out with a long look on his face. He didn't need to say it.
Sarah died.
I couldn't help the tears. Nothing the doctor said made any sense after the news.
I didn't know what to do with my life anymore. I just sat there crying.
I didn't know when my mother came into the hospital or how she knew I was in the hospital.
I didn't know what to say to her after the way i sent her out of my house the other day.
"I told you I never want to see you again" I said smiling as the tears came down my cheeks.
"I think we both know you didn't mean it" she said as she sat beside me and held my hand.
"Sarah is dead mama" I said.
"I know honey. She's in a better place now" she said and I could see the tears she was trying to hide.
What was I going to do with my life?
My mother didn't ask me about Austin. She must have known.
I was tired and I just needed to sleep. Sleep like my baby Sarah.
As my mother went in to speak with the doctor, I sneaked behind the counter a nurse just vacated and stole a bottle full of pills.
I went back to where I was sitting. Where do I go from here? What's life without my family? Where and how do I start? I thought about my wedding day, the honeymoon and the man I love who has turned into someone I barely know, I knew nothing would compare to the pain of losing Sarah. My baby. My miracle child and as I opened the bottle and poured the whole pills into my mouth, I thought about my mother.
"She'll forgive me. She'll think I'm a coward for committing suicide but she'll forgive me eventually" I thought to myself as I closed my eyes.
THE END
Written by PRINCE NECHE
My mother's outburst made me step back. She said it with so much energy and vehemence, I thought she was going to slap me. I had prepared for this. I just didn't think she'll still be this adamant!
2weeks ago when I brought up this topic, my mother had looked at me like I was crazy. I thought it was just the shock so I decided to give her a few weeks to think about it but there was no time anymore. I have already decided to marry Austin. With or without my mother's blessing but I'd rather do it with her blessing. It would just be better if she stops being stubborn and accept it. This time, I'm ready for her.
"Mama calm down. I'm the one who's going to spend the rest of my life with him not you. You can't decide for me" I said.
My mother was quiet for a while then she walked up to me and put her hands on my shoulder.
"Rita please. Listen to me I beg you. You're my daughter. Anything that affects you, affects me. This is not the life I want for you" she said gently. I smiled. At least she was calm now. She wasn't shouting anymore. I was slowly winning her over.
"But mama, you like Austin. You've always liked him. He has been coming here for the past 3 years since we started dating. You used to love him. In fact during papa's burial he helped in all aspects and I recall you once said you wish he was your own son!"
I said to my mother. She sighed.
"I still like him...like a son. Like the son I never had. My decision is not based on his personality because I will be the first to say he's a fine young man with a good heart. But ever since you told me about the result of that test you both took, I just knew it wasn't meant to be" she said sadly.
I understood her point of view. Austin and I went for tests and the result wasn't too good. We have the same genotype which wouldn't have been a problem if not for the fact that we're both AS.
Initially, Austin had joked about it. "The universe is funny. We're so alike. We have the same genotype too" he had laughed. But after some time we had thought about it and discussed how serious the issue really is. We had come to the conclusion that we'll get married anyway. Our love was strong enough to weather the storm. We couldn't imagine life without each other. I just need a way to convince my mother who was now sitting in front of me, staring at me with a dark look in her eyes and a scowl on her face.
"It's already too late mama. I'm pregnant for him" I said trying not to meet her eyes.
"What? Are you stupid? Have you lost your mind?" She said. I knew she would be disappointed when I told her.
"No mama. I've not lost my mind. I'm in love".
My mother looked at me long and hard ''You're making a huge mistake Rita. It's your life and since you've decided to throw it away and follow your heart, leaving your brain behind, you can go ahead and marry Austin'' with that she stood up, shook her head and left the room.
"How did it go with your mother?" Austin asked me later that day when I went over to visit him.
"Terribly. I'm so tired but the good news is that she reluctantly agreed after I told her about the pregnancy." I said. I could feel Austin's excitement when I told him.
"Finally!" He screamed. "I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you" he added as he kissed me. "Me too" I replied and in that moment, I knew I had made the right decision.
Three weeks to the wedding, my mother invited me to her house. When I got there, I was surprised to see our Pastor in the sitting room with her.
After the usual pleasantries were exchanged, my mother turned to me.
"I invited the man of God over because I think he'll be able to talk better sense into you. If you won't listen to me, at least listen to the voice of God" she said.
I nearly laughed. This same issue again?
"My daughter, your mother is worried about you with good reasons too. Do you know the implications of what you're about to do?" He asked.
I nodded
"I don't think you do child" he continued "Getting married to Austin with your blood group means you'll have children with the sickle cell disease" he said
"There's one out of four chances that I'll have a child with the sickle cell disease. Just one in four chances" I corrected him.
"Ok. One in four. Are you willing to take the risk? Think about the life of that innocent child you're going to bring into this world to suffer." He said.
"With all due respect sir, my mind is made up. I'm pregnant for him already. You're a man of God, are you suggesting I abort this baby? You of all people should know about miracles. I believe in the power of the Almighty God and I believe in the love I and Austin share. Who knows, I might have healthy kids without the sickle cell anemia. There's nothing God cannot do" I said.
My mother looked like she was about to keel over and die of a heart attack.
What is the matter with her anyway? She of all people should understand how much I love Austin. Even if my dead father wakes up from the dead to change my mind, I'll still marry Austin.
After the pastor and my mother tried everything to discourage me without much success, they let me be.
My mother got over her disapproval and helped me with the wedding plans.
The pastor had no choice but to wed us and Austin was happier than I had ever seen him, his love for me so pure that all I had to do was look into his eyes to see it.
The wedding was awesome. It was a small wedding which made it intimate and really beautiful. I didn't really care about any of all that; the guests, decorations, cake or the way everything looked colourful. All I wanted was to start a life with Austin.
Everyone commented on how good we looked together and when the pastor said "You may now kiss the bride", our lips found each other like magnets across a small space.
We were so young and so in love and the future was full of endless possibilities.
The honeymoon was a short one because Austin had to get back to work but it was magical. Every moment spent with Austin was beautiful.
Days rolled into weeks and weeks rolled into months. Eight months into our marriage, I gave birth to a beautiful girl.
Austin was the happiest man on earth. He loved our daughter like she was responsible for the oxygen keeping him alive. He dotted on me like I just gave him the world. We named her Sarah.
We took vacations whenever he was on leave.
My mother visited often and everything was perfect.
It was my dream, a husband who loves me and a daughter I adore. A happy family.
My life was almost perfect until Sarah started falling sick.
It was the one thing we dreaded but thank God we were prepared for this. I just didn't imagine my first child would have the sickle cell disease but it happened.
Austin and I became closer if that was even possible considering how close we already are.
We took care of Sarah. United by a love which was strong and a zeal to take care of Sarah who's SS and needed all the care in the world.
Austin and I kept trying to have another child but the pregnancy wasn't coming and when Sarah was about 3years old, her crisis became frequent.
Her crisis was draining her and she was looking sick. It was draining me too but the person who felt it the most was Austin.
He hated to see his little girl suffer and he tried everything within his power to make sure she was okay.
One afternoon my mother visited.
I wasn't expecting her and Sarah was really sick
"Are you okay?" My mother asked when she saw how exhausted I looked.
"You bet" I said with a smile that didn't fool her.
She said nothing. She loved Sarah too.
My mother has a good heart. She'd never tell me "I told you so" and for that I was grateful because even Sarah's ill health didn't make me regret my marriage to Austin. I loved him that much.
Sarah's condition was making us spend more and more time in the hospital and this made Austin stay away from the office much and soon, he lost his job. The work was tasking. One that needed him around always and his boss wasn't happy with his absences anymore and sacked him.
That was the beginning of our problems because Sarah's condition needed money for drugs and treatments. With Austin out of a job, it became harder to handle. There was no money in the house. Things got very tight.
I was a full time housewife and couldn't help.
Austin promised to get another job and asked me not to worry but after some months and nothing was coming along, he became depressed.
Soon he started drinking and staying out late.
I understood his predicament but I wasn't happy with it.
We started having misunderstandings. The sicker Sarah got, the more problems we had, the deeper Austin went into the bottle and slowly he began to change.
We had lots of fights and one day he accused me of giving him a sick child and ruining his life. Even though he was drunk, the words went straight to my heart.
I felt so bad.
My mother came over the next day and couldn't believe it when she saw me crying in the room.
"What's the matter with you?" She asked. I didn't know what to say.
Heartbroken and going out of my mind?
Exhausted and weak?
Tired and battered?
I didn't know what to say to her so I said nothing. She simply rolled her eyes and went into Sarah's room.
That night she was there when Austin came back drunk as usual and she witnessed when Austin tried to hit me.
She tried to stop him and push him away so he hit her too.
My mother was furious and started shouting at me and telling me about how she warned me not to marry him.
"Get out of my house mama and I don't ever want to see you again" I said. I didn't know where that came from, anger maybe but she was so shocked, she simply picked up her purse and left.
The next day I was doing Austin's laundry and saw condoms in his pant pocket. I felt so betrayed and weak.
At least he's using protection?
Hell no! My heart was broken.
I was tired and I didn't know what to do anymore.
Austin used to be the perfect husband. The frustration of running from hospital to hospital and spending everything on drugs turned him into this stranger.
That day he came back late and I confronted him about the condoms.
"Austin are you seeing another woman?" I asked.
"Yup" he replied casually and continued fiddling with his tie.
"Why?" I asked trying not to cry.
"Let's just say I'm thinking of marrying another wife" he replied looking straight into my eyes.
I couldn't believe it.
"But..." I couldn't get the words past the lump in my throat.
"You've brought me nothing but bad luck. You and your sick child" he said.
"But you love Sarah. You've always adored her" I said in a tiny whisper.
"I stopped. She'll soon die anyway. What's the point and you've refused to give me other children." He said
"I'm not God that gives children and you're not God to say she'll die" I shouted.
He simply walked away.
I sat down there crying.
"We are in this together! We're supposed to be in this together!" I screamed startling Sarah who was already sleeping because she started crying.
As I went into her room to check on her, I made a mental note to call my mother and apologise.
The next day, Sarah woke up in the middle of the night crying and vomiting and there were traces of blood in her vomit.
Austin wasn't at home. He slept out of the house like he had been doing for weeks now so I had to take Sarah to the hospital myself.
The doctors took over at once.
I was sitting at the reception about 45minutes later when the doctor came out with a long look on his face. He didn't need to say it.
Sarah died.
I couldn't help the tears. Nothing the doctor said made any sense after the news.
I didn't know what to do with my life anymore. I just sat there crying.
I didn't know when my mother came into the hospital or how she knew I was in the hospital.
I didn't know what to say to her after the way i sent her out of my house the other day.
"I told you I never want to see you again" I said smiling as the tears came down my cheeks.
"I think we both know you didn't mean it" she said as she sat beside me and held my hand.
"Sarah is dead mama" I said.
"I know honey. She's in a better place now" she said and I could see the tears she was trying to hide.
What was I going to do with my life?
My mother didn't ask me about Austin. She must have known.
I was tired and I just needed to sleep. Sleep like my baby Sarah.
As my mother went in to speak with the doctor, I sneaked behind the counter a nurse just vacated and stole a bottle full of pills.
I went back to where I was sitting. Where do I go from here? What's life without my family? Where and how do I start? I thought about my wedding day, the honeymoon and the man I love who has turned into someone I barely know, I knew nothing would compare to the pain of losing Sarah. My baby. My miracle child and as I opened the bottle and poured the whole pills into my mouth, I thought about my mother.
"She'll forgive me. She'll think I'm a coward for committing suicide but she'll forgive me eventually" I thought to myself as I closed my eyes.
THE END
Written by PRINCE NECHE
Interesting read.
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