Okey has been my bosom friend for three years now and although he shuttles between his business at Onitsha during the week and his studies in Awka at the weekend, we managed to create a strong bond. He is a generous fellow who wastes no time in appreciating beautiful creatures of God in feminine form. His last heartbreak came from a beauty queen in Psychology department. After spending so much on her without getting a single kiss, the lady wanted to melt his heart and told him to book a room at Best Western (Meloch) Hotels in Ifite two weekends ago. With his deep Onitsha main market eyes, he admired the ebony tall beauty queen and in his heart, he was already singing with Flavour, "because your waist 34, your hips 44 and you are 24..." He booked the room, arranged a dinner, equipped the fridge in the room with bullet vodka, alomo bitters, Chivita yoghurt and Night train. He also bought that "other one" in three packs and added spanish fly in case she decides to change her mind on arrival.
8:00pm, he called her and with her sweet soft voice, she announced to Okey that she was on her way. My guy's joy knew no bounds, he was prepared to commit this one sin that will send him to hell. He continued to mutter to himself, "this 'ukwu' will not pass me by." 10:00pm, there was no sign of her and when Okey called her again, her three lines were switched off. He cursed under his breath and went to Elmada Hostel to search for a new catch. His wife, a 300 level student of Philosophy by stroke of chance, came to collect a handout from her course mate and on recognising his car, she knocked on the screen. On winding down, he smiled sheepishly. "I came to pick up MBN, he is visiting his girlfriend." Although she didn't believe him, she was less concerned with his escapades. She was busy too.
So after telling me his Friday night escapade, we decided to take a stroll down Unizik junction and branch over to H20 and enjoy one or two bottles. Immediately we walked past Frances Plaza, he sighted another beautiful maiden with tight black jean and red singlet. He tapped me and happily announced, "MBN, agam agba this bae chick...move forward abeg." Like an obedient child, I stepped some feet in front of him and watched as the drama unfolded.
"Excuse me Nne...hello...Nwanyi Ocha. Please wait. Are you Chioma from Law Faculty?"
I have seen the lady once at Cofi Lounge and I knew her name was Jane from Sociology. I bet my dinner with myself that its true. She smiled and replied him.
"Normal pick-up line abi? Anyway I'm Jane, from Social Sciences." I shouted YES and everyone looked at me. I maintained my cool.
"Yeah Jane, I knew it was Jane just that I thought Chioma was your Igbo name. Afa m bu Okey Japan. That's my flend Martina MBN Beck Nworah ode akwukwo. My car arrangement itself just inside bus stand. As I saw you now, my heart starting skipping gidigidigidigidi with lomance and rove for you."
Jisos!!! I knew Okey had issues with L and R which is okay. This is the reason why I have refused to allow him speak to any lady if I'm with him. His grammar is something else.
"Errrm. That's nice. I know your friend MBN. He is the SUG PRO and the author of Diary of A UNIZIK Babe. I like him."
Okey cut in immediately.
"Not at all baby mbanu. I yamu the one who tolding MBN wetin he wrote for that book. I even supervised the project with six figures sef"
"You mean sponsored?" She volunteered to help.
"Yes slonsor the thing. In short sleeve baby, this #ZikitesUSNConnect that he will holded on December 12th at Fayrouz Spot Ifite by 6:00pm is my idealization. My club members from 'Ite Money Friends Club' will be in attending that night sef. Phyno, Timaya, Olamide, Lil Kesh, D'Banj, P-Square, Kiss Daniel and Mavins DVD plates will be available that day sef. Even MBN'S book and new mini-magazine will be given out for free to everyone that will attend. Plenty of drinks, comedy, dance and chops."
Jane is a sharp shooter and once you are rich, forget about your grammar or accent, she can dribble you well till she gets into your pocket. She looked at me and smiled. I was shying away by the disgrace Okey was heaping on me. If I complained, there will no 'jollification' for me that evening so I kept mute.
"So Okey, what precisely do you want from me?" As if she doesn't know. Ladies eeehh.
"Ahhhhhaaa. Now you come my beauriful damusel. My rove for you is brind because I can give you my ATM password without looking at it"
"Please do so immediately" she cut in.
"Na joke. But baby, I want to relate with you as man and woman. I want you to attend #ZikitesUSNConnect on the 12th at Fayrouz Spot Ifite. Many of my guys will be there and many beautifullified babes like you. I want to connect with you on that day babe...lemme give you some conne."
A message came into her phone and she wanted to leave us. "So if I want to attend, what will I do?"
" Just send your name and phone number as a message to this link https://m.facebook.com/
"Alright. I will do that tonight. You can take my number from MBN. He knows where to find me."
I cut in immediately. "Errm Jane, its a white party ooo. You can wear that your white jean and shirt, it looks lovely on you"
"Its my roomie's own and I don't want her wahala abeg. Okey Japan, buy me new one naw"
"That is my department babe, I willi order for new one for you flom Konga or Jumia. That is not a ploblem." Okey deals in ladies clothing so when he says it is not a problem, he seriously means it.
"Or better still Jane, only white top or jean is okay. We just need a touch of white whether up or down. Remember to send your name and phone number to https://m.facebook.com/
"Ok I will Beck. Lemme inform my girlfriends as well so they can send in their name and number to the link. I know Okey and his friends will be loaded."
"Chai baby you have killeded me and I am in a mortuary at about now now. Chai nwa oma, baby oku. Take me and possess like evil spirit abeg. I will be waiting for you at Fayrouz Spot on the 12th of December by 6:00pm. Chai...onunu ugu."
While we were laughing and basking in the thought of seeing Jane and her friends at the #ZikitesUSNConnect , a black Ford Escape with green plated numbers pulled over and she jumped in. My phone buzzed and she sent me a message on Whatsapp.
"He is my uncle. We are going to see my elder sister who just gave birth."
While I strolled down Oby Okoli Avenue with Okey, I replied Jane through Whatsapp.
"Na who I go ask?"
©Martin Beck Nworah (MBN)
******************************
Martin Beck Nworah has been nominated in the category of the Fast Rising Igbo Made Literary Icon and he needs your votes to win.
To vote for Martin Beck Nworah (MBN), visit http://www.igbomadeawards.com/
Thank you.
8:00pm, he called her and with her sweet soft voice, she announced to Okey that she was on her way. My guy's joy knew no bounds, he was prepared to commit this one sin that will send him to hell. He continued to mutter to himself, "this 'ukwu' will not pass me by." 10:00pm, there was no sign of her and when Okey called her again, her three lines were switched off. He cursed under his breath and went to Elmada Hostel to search for a new catch. His wife, a 300 level student of Philosophy by stroke of chance, came to collect a handout from her course mate and on recognising his car, she knocked on the screen. On winding down, he smiled sheepishly. "I came to pick up MBN, he is visiting his girlfriend." Although she didn't believe him, she was less concerned with his escapades. She was busy too.
So after telling me his Friday night escapade, we decided to take a stroll down Unizik junction and branch over to H20 and enjoy one or two bottles. Immediately we walked past Frances Plaza, he sighted another beautiful maiden with tight black jean and red singlet. He tapped me and happily announced, "MBN, agam agba this bae chick...move forward abeg." Like an obedient child, I stepped some feet in front of him and watched as the drama unfolded.
"Excuse me Nne...hello...Nwanyi Ocha. Please wait. Are you Chioma from Law Faculty?"
I have seen the lady once at Cofi Lounge and I knew her name was Jane from Sociology. I bet my dinner with myself that its true. She smiled and replied him.
"Normal pick-up line abi? Anyway I'm Jane, from Social Sciences." I shouted YES and everyone looked at me. I maintained my cool.
"Yeah Jane, I knew it was Jane just that I thought Chioma was your Igbo name. Afa m bu Okey Japan. That's my flend Martina MBN Beck Nworah ode akwukwo. My car arrangement itself just inside bus stand. As I saw you now, my heart starting skipping gidigidigidigidi with lomance and rove for you."
Jisos!!! I knew Okey had issues with L and R which is okay. This is the reason why I have refused to allow him speak to any lady if I'm with him. His grammar is something else.
"Errrm. That's nice. I know your friend MBN. He is the SUG PRO and the author of Diary of A UNIZIK Babe. I like him."
Okey cut in immediately.
"Not at all baby mbanu. I yamu the one who tolding MBN wetin he wrote for that book. I even supervised the project with six figures sef"
"You mean sponsored?" She volunteered to help.
"Yes slonsor the thing. In short sleeve baby, this #ZikitesUSNConnect that he will holded on December 12th at Fayrouz Spot Ifite by 6:00pm is my idealization. My club members from 'Ite Money Friends Club' will be in attending that night sef. Phyno, Timaya, Olamide, Lil Kesh, D'Banj, P-Square, Kiss Daniel and Mavins DVD plates will be available that day sef. Even MBN'S book and new mini-magazine will be given out for free to everyone that will attend. Plenty of drinks, comedy, dance and chops."
Jane is a sharp shooter and once you are rich, forget about your grammar or accent, she can dribble you well till she gets into your pocket. She looked at me and smiled. I was shying away by the disgrace Okey was heaping on me. If I complained, there will no 'jollification' for me that evening so I kept mute.
"So Okey, what precisely do you want from me?" As if she doesn't know. Ladies eeehh.
"Ahhhhhaaa. Now you come my beauriful damusel. My rove for you is brind because I can give you my ATM password without looking at it"
"Please do so immediately" she cut in.
"Na joke. But baby, I want to relate with you as man and woman. I want you to attend #ZikitesUSNConnect on the 12th at Fayrouz Spot Ifite. Many of my guys will be there and many beautifullified babes like you. I want to connect with you on that day babe...lemme give you some conne."
A message came into her phone and she wanted to leave us. "So if I want to attend, what will I do?"
" Just send your name and phone number as a message to this link https://m.facebook.com/
"Alright. I will do that tonight. You can take my number from MBN. He knows where to find me."
I cut in immediately. "Errm Jane, its a white party ooo. You can wear that your white jean and shirt, it looks lovely on you"
"Its my roomie's own and I don't want her wahala abeg. Okey Japan, buy me new one naw"
"That is my department babe, I willi order for new one for you flom Konga or Jumia. That is not a ploblem." Okey deals in ladies clothing so when he says it is not a problem, he seriously means it.
"Or better still Jane, only white top or jean is okay. We just need a touch of white whether up or down. Remember to send your name and phone number to https://m.facebook.com/
"Ok I will Beck. Lemme inform my girlfriends as well so they can send in their name and number to the link. I know Okey and his friends will be loaded."
"Chai baby you have killeded me and I am in a mortuary at about now now. Chai nwa oma, baby oku. Take me and possess like evil spirit abeg. I will be waiting for you at Fayrouz Spot on the 12th of December by 6:00pm. Chai...onunu ugu."
While we were laughing and basking in the thought of seeing Jane and her friends at the #ZikitesUSNConnect , a black Ford Escape with green plated numbers pulled over and she jumped in. My phone buzzed and she sent me a message on Whatsapp.
"He is my uncle. We are going to see my elder sister who just gave birth."
While I strolled down Oby Okoli Avenue with Okey, I replied Jane through Whatsapp.
"Na who I go ask?"
©Martin Beck Nworah (MBN)
******************************
Martin Beck Nworah has been nominated in the category of the Fast Rising Igbo Made Literary Icon and he needs your votes to win.
To vote for Martin Beck Nworah (MBN), visit http://www.igbomadeawards.com/
Thank you.
creative at its peak
ReplyDeletewonderful!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm so loving this. I will surely come for the event.
ReplyDelete