We all know that guys hate talking on the phone, but if you're never
hearing the sound of his voice, that could spell trouble. "If I have
hung out with a girl a few times and I'm still...
texting or emailing
her, it's just about sèx for me," says Jake, 28. Chalk it up to his
lack of interest in talking with you — and the ease of technology, a
boon for lazy would-be players. He doesn't need to engage in a real
conversation — a couple of words here, an emoticon there, and he's in
touch with you with a bare minimum of effort. Keeping his communiqués
to emails and texts also allows him to steer the conversation towards
s*x, either subtly or overtly; he can be more forward than he would be
in person or over the phone since he won't have to deal with rejection
directly.
HE WARNS YOU THAT HE'S NOT RELATIONSHIP MATERIAL:
Some guys inform girls about their disinterest in a relationship early
on with remarks like "I'm not ready for a serious relationship yet."
It can be easy to think he's just being honest and may eventually come
around after he's gotten to know you. But don't fall for it. "Some
guys always have excuses as to why they can't take the relationship to
the next level," says Sherry Argov, author of Why Men Marry Bitches: A
Woman's Guide to Winning Her Man's Heart. "But 'not now' means 'not
ever.'" The upfront explanation makes it easier to break it off later.
"When I just want sèx from a woman, I drop hints that I can't be
involved with her in a long-term relationship because my job is my
number one priority," says Matt, 31. "Then, when I decide to stop
seeing her, I reference the fact that I said it wouldn't work out
early on." Bottom line: If he says he's not boyfriend material, know
that he means it.
YOU HAVE BEEN TO THE SAME RESTAURANT WITH HIM MORE THAN ONCE IN ONE MONTH:
Sure, he may say "It's my favorite place," "It's our place," or that
he's been craving the eggplant parmesan. As sweet as that may seem,
his motives are likely not so romantic. A quality guy will put thought
and effort into each of your dates — but a guy who just wants sèx will
make the weekly Olive Garden dinner a preamble to taking you back to
his place (which just happens to be around the corner). Watch out if
he keeps meeting you in the same place and doesn't vary from routine,
Argov warns. "He's with you at the little Mexican place, but with
another girl at the Chinese place the next night and another girl at
the sushi place the night after that." He needn't pull out all the
stops every date, but beware night after night of the same thing. Says
Argov, "A player will go for what's quick, convenient and cheap — just
like his intentions."
HE MAKES TOO MANY PROMISES:
It would be easy to avoid these guys if they said things like, "I want
you to come over and have sèx with me — and then disappear." Rather,
guys try to woo you with what they think you want to hear. "If all he
wants is sèx, he'll promise you things you haven't even thought of
yet," says Argov. "Men know that by talking about love, fabulous
exotic vacations, babies, houses with the white picket fences, women
will give up the goods. He's fattening you up for the kill." So if
there's lots of talk of big future plans very early in your dates,
beware.
HE ONLY MAKES LAST-MINUTE, LATE-NIGHT PLANS TO SEE YOU:
It seems obvious, but sometimes a guy can conceal the real intentions
behind a booty call by making it sound innocent enough, citing how
he's working late or has dinner plans with friends — but that he
really wants to see you. Then comes the clincher: a line like, "Can we
meet for a quick drink, or maybe I could just stop by your place on my
way home?" Sure, a little impatient enthusiasm is flattering, but if
he's truly into you, he'll make plans in advance. Says Argov, "For the
guy who's smitten, the anticipation of seeing the woman he likes is as
exciting to him as the date itself."
HE AVOIDS GETTING-TO-KNOW-YOU TALK:
Everyone knows a relationship requires communication, especially at
the onset. It should stand to reason, then, that a guy who plans dates
that don't give you a chance to talk to each other isn't likely
interested in a relationship. Says Todd, 35, "With girls that I only
want to have sèx with, I go out to lots of movies — that way, I don't
have to talk to them. Afterwards I can justify going home with them
since we did hang out and had an official date." According to Mira
Kirshenbaum, author of Is He Mr. Right? Everything You Need To Know
Before You Commit, it should be apparent when a guy's interested in
getting to know you. "He may also be sèxually attracted to you and
want to have sèx with you," says Kirshenbaum, "but other things will
have equal weight, such as having conversations with you about topics
that you care about and interests you share."
HE'S PUSHY ABOUT GETTING PHYSICAL:
Some guys will say just about anything to get a woman to have sèx with
him. Ever heard any of these lines?
"We'll just cuddle."
"You're just so sèxy that I can't help myself."
"My underwear is chafing me."
FOR THE RECORD: We hate just cuddling, we can help ourselves, and our
underwear was fitting us just fine this morning.
HE DOESN'T INTRODUCE YOU TO HIS FRIENDS:
If you've been dating a month or more, and you still have seen neither
hide nor hair of any of his coworkers, acquaintances, siblings or
pals, he's likely never going to bring you home to meet the parents.
"I'll introduce girls I'm genuinely interested in to my guy-friends
within two to three weeks of dating," Jake explains. "At that point
I'm feeling comfortable enough with her to see what my friends think."
Don't fret if you've passed the four-date mark and you haven't yet met
his mom, though. "Some men won't introduce you to their families,
because they're embarrassed by them," says Argov. Still, he should
begin integrating you into his life within the first few months of
dating. If not, it's a sign that this guy's into getting physical… and
not much else. Consider yourself well warned!
Lifelessons...
@ ezenwa who u cum dae support na??
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